Homesick

Tragedy. Death. It can come in the blink of an eye. I've experienced it in my life; 3 times to be exact.

 #1: The first was the horrible sound of a 2 a.m. phone call and my mom telling me to get up and that "Papa was sick". I was 10 that night. It was the first time I was really scared of losing someone. We had just had a birthday party for my Papa the night before. He was around family and friends and he was happy. Then, just like that, he was gone. Heart attack was to blame. I didn't fully understand what was happening at the time. I just knew that it wasn't good. I remember walking through his beautiful, overflowing garden that night with my mom-the red dirt between my toes, and my mama saying "Who's going to take care of this garden if he can't?" Well, no one can. That once overflowing, lush garden is now just grass.
#2: The second time was different. My PawPaw was sick. We already knew that he was diagnosed with cancer and that, while he was being treated, the looks on the grown-ups face were not good. Finally, it was actually time to say good-bye. This is something that I did not understand at the time. I didn't realize that when I went in and hugged him and said 'I love you', that it would be the last time I would see him. Needless to say, that Christmas was not the same.
#3 The third time was my Memaw. (married to my PawPaw). She had some blockages in her heart and she was going in to the hospital for surgery on her heart. We got the call from my dad, that while the actual surgery was successful, My Memaw never woke up again. It was hard to believe that. It was hard to understand that the first two deaths I had experienced were not only unavoidable, but not caused by Doctors who wanted to do surgery on them. This one was different. I remember thinking, 'If she had just not had the surgery, she would be fine.' But also, I came to realize that things happen for a reason--and that maybe she just missed my PawPaw.

Death is unavoidable. You can't run from it. You can't hide from it. And it is not going to pass you over and let you live for 1000 years. When looking at the big scheme of things, the fighting, the having bad feelings towards something, not forgiving someone or asking for forgiveness, not enjoying your life is the biggest mistake to have ever committed. WHY waste a small amount of your PRECIOUS life harboring angry feelings, or not living your life to the FULLEST??? Yes, it sounds easy--but to get up every morning and to actually put that into effect is hard.

But we are human. We are sinful, and we do make mistakes. Since, I know Jesus, I know that those three wonderful people I lost, Papa, PawPaw and Memaw are waiting for me. I think MercyMe says it best in their song "Homesick". The reason that we cry when bad things happen is--yes we miss them--but if we are in Jesus, we know that we can see them again.

In light of recent events, I felt this was a good thing to write about. It not only helps me deal with tragedies that happen unexpectedly, but it serves as a reminder that when we are in Christ, there is no goodbye.



"In Christ, There is not goodbye. In Christ, there is no death. So, I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have to see you again, to see you again.....
I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick, than now."
-"Homesick" by MercyMe

"The Duo"

Keeping with my last post on friendship, I promised that I would highlight other friendships that have not only made me who I am today, but have influenced my life in a good way. One in particular is quite special. She goes by many names, KTS, Simmonez, #12, but I just call her Katie. Wayyy back in 9th grade at Gaffney High was when I first met Katie. I didn't know if I could actually be friends with her because she went to Ewing Junior High, our rival school. You automatically went in to 9th grade staying with "your" group, so I hung out with my Granard gang for a long time. It wasn't long until I met another friend in my GHS Success class (lame) named Jenna Kaye Flythe. We became friends, and through her and others my Granard group merged with the Ewing group. This included a lot of NEW friends, but Katie has been unique in my friend circle. Katie was ALWAYS up for fun. I know that she LOVED going to Bronco's (probably because of the 'virgin' strawberry daquiri's that were oh so good!) but she was always like 'let's go hang out'. If you have never met Katie, she is honestly one of the funniest people I know. She is quick on her feet with witty sayings and she actually writes really good. She has her own blog which was the inspiration for me to write my own. One thing that we nicknamed ourselves was "The Duo". I am not sure WHY we did this, but I do remember it was at a high school football game (which was an EVERY Friday night thing). Football games were fun because Katie actually knew what was going on in the game and would watch it! You didn't have to tell her what was happening when a flag was thrown, unlike Laura (which now Laura knows football, too!) :) Anyways, high school is where a lot of our inside jokes come from, like, Mindy and the Sexy Girls hotline, rolling down a hill in College Park and Bai losing a shoe, getting chased by black girls in Casey's mom surburban (that actually happened-and we did NOT get to go Bowling!), and can we forget Senior Week '04? I mean some of my fondest and most memorable times were had with that group and Katie was always apart of it.

OK, ENOUGH of memory lane, but Katie is SUCH a good friend, one of my best friends. Not because of all the stuff that we went through in high school--but because no matter what happened AFTER high school, she has always been there for me. I always can call her or text her and she will always respond. She's there to listen to me when I need her and she is one of the strongest Christians I know. She has shown me what kind of love God wants us to show others because she has shown me that. Katie is good. And one thing unique about our friendship is that I have never, ever been mad at her. Not even a little bit. Never said anything negative about her. Never thought anything bad. She has been through a lot in the past couple of years but I have never seen her lose sight of her faith and her friends. She is one amazing person and I am completely grateful to have her in my life. Katie just gets me. It's actually hard to put down in word form, but that's what it is. So, thank you Katie for being in my life--and now a Bridesmaid :) I love you Duo!

BFFs

You know, I've been thinking a lot about the word "Friend", lately. Dictionary.com defines the word 'friend' as

1 a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile:

We see that word on social network sites all the time. If you are 'friends' on Facebook, I feel that it doesn't necessarily mean you are actually friends. I mean people use Facebook, Twitter, and all kinds of social networking to be hostile to each other; they use it to stalk, or check up on people, just to be nosy. And you know that the relationship is SO not official until your status says you are now 'in a relationship'. But those are just labels. I mean What REALLY makes a friend, a friend??? 

I have been blessed  in my life to know what real friendship is. To know that I have people in my life that I can truly count on. People say you only can have one best friend, but I feel like that's not true. There are so many different facets of your life that I feel you need multiple people to be in those certain areas. For example, Justin, my future-groom is one of my best friends. He knows me better than anyone on this earth. And while I CAN talk to him about anything---some stuff he just does not care about (namely, shoes, purses, Zac Efron, and that latest gossip around town). That's stuff that is just not interesting to him. Which is where my other best friends come in. There's only a few and they are very special to me, but I am going to highlight just one in this post. (more to come later). 

I have known this person for about 4 years. She was one of the first people that I got to know when I went to work at Gaffney Middle. Kim (Starnes) Blanton has been my rock through all kinds of messes in 4 years. Sometimes, we get those friends who say they will be there when the going gets rough and then it does and for some reason they can't handle it and just look the other way when it happens--Kim is not one of these people. It doesn't matter what time of day, what I need, when I need it, she has been faithfully there. I literally can call her and she will stop what she is doing just so I can 'vent' about something. She can do the same to me. She has never let me down--not one time. If I am sick and need lesson plans done, I can text her and they get done. She isn't even on the same hall as me anymore but if I need her she comes-a-running. There is a 'slight' age difference between us but I think that's why it works. We are both teachers and God knows I am still learning stuff. She's been teaching for 14 years and if I have a question, she always has an answer. And those answers are always truthful--even if its not what I want to hear. We got really close in a short amount of time and the trust between us in unlike something I haven't ever had with a friend who is a girl. Ya'll know girls cause drama and like to talk but I have YET had it happen with Kim, and I don't ever think it will happen. She even trusted me enough to direct and pretty much plan her wedding! (Even with a few meltdowns--we did it!) I guess if I had one word to describe her it would be 'constant'. She is the same person with everyone around her. There is not another face that she turns on---you get what you get. I feel like we all need a little more of that pure, honest, down to earth personality here on earth a little bit more. And I am completely and utterly grateful to have had a friendship like hers. My wish for everyone who may read this is that you have someone in your life like Kim. She is good people. :)

Perfection is key....

Well, I am rounding up my Spring Break this week and I honestly can say that I have never been more productive (or tired) in my whole entire life.Planning a wedding--THE EVENT of my life--is seriously hard work! I haven't slept well, had some more wedding nightmares, and I am paying for it now. Monday started out with a massive clean out of my room-->honestly I did not know how much crap you could accumulate. Just stuff that I don't need nor have I needed in the last ten years. Monday night, I had my first big meltdown--Justin was on the other side of the phone to hear it. He deserves a medal for the craziness I put him through. On a side note, I've been engaged for almost 2 years and for me to have my first meltdown 2 months out is pretty good. Anyways, so Tuesday Justin calls and wants to go look at apartments because he knows that was a big thing I wanted to get out of the way. Then, by 4 o'clock that afternoon we had an apartment! Good deal. Cross that off my list! (BTW, best app for having making lists and keeping you organized is called Clear...love it!) Then, I went to Fort Mill because Justin had a 'day off' technically. Wednesday, he came here and we 'almost' finished invitations. Thursday, I finished addressing and cleaned out my sisters' room and straightened that because my mama was going to go crazy if it wasn't at least an organized mess. And now it's Friday--I haven't done much today. I figured I needed a break and so it started with 5 episodes of The Office so that I could catch up on that, lunch and grocery store with mama, and then back for One Tree Hill. Today has been relaxing--I did go by the Post Office to ask about stamps---*(note to anyone getting married--stamps for square envelopes are expensive!) So, I have crossed a lot off my list! Tomorrow is my first Bridal Shower. I'm definitely excited. I love weddings, and with a few exceptions, have LOVED planning every bit of it---but if you do come to my wedding, know that it didn't just 'happen' and that a lot of work went into every single detail. And that's any wedding actually. Appreciate what the Bride and Groom and families have done, because it is such a special day! I have to quit thinking about it sometimes because I do get nervous---like my dreams, "What happens if my bridesmaid wear something crazy?" Where are the programs? What if the wrong songs play??? What if my guests don't have fun and think its dumb? What if the food is bad?!?! Those thoughts cross my mind a lot! But I did find this little thing in Pinterest (the most addicting thing ever created) and it's something that I have to remind myself daily. In the end, if I can say that I am Mrs. Justin Baer and I get to get on a cruise ship on June 10---then everything went perfectly!

Everything I ever need to know in life I learned from Boy Meets World.

If you haven't been paying attention to anything I've been doing, here's an update. In December, I went on Amazon and bought all 7 seasons of "Boy Meets World." While it set me back about $70, it was MORE than worth it. (I also justified that it cannot be found on Netfllix or Hulu, so this would be the only way to see it!) I finally finished the entire series last night. I literally cried my eyes out. It is just so wholesome, and true, and made you feel all warm inside. Plus, Eric Matthews is just funny as hell in seasons 4-7 especially. (Sidenote: The 90s were the BEST time and the BEST TV to grow up on. We didn't need no stinkin' iPods or computers. We had our gigapets, gameboys, and TGIF.) Anyways--back to the whole point of this post, I found that I am NOT the only fan of Boy Meets World. I found an interesting article entitled "Everything I needed to know in life I learned from Boy Meets World." It is true. It is a blog post by a girl named Emily Grier and she is quite good with everything she says. The link to that article is here. I encourage you to read it. Very, very good. Now, if you are an avid Boy Meets World fan as I am, a lot of people have created still moments from the show that I would like to show to you here....These are some of MY favorites and some that DEFINE the show as a whole.

The Early Years....

To the heartbroken....

 

 To the final episode....

And all of that is full of Eric Matthews.....honestly, this is one of the best shows ever created. This would be in my TOP 10 of Reunions from TV Shows. And if this pictures weren't enough....You cannot talk about Boy Meets World without talking about "The Feeny Call". :) :) :) Enjoy!